The word “toilet” is problematic to class-sensitive Brits at the best of times and anyone who wants to get on in this country would be well advised to avoid it altogether. What really makes me twitch, though is to hear it misused in the phrase, “to do a toilet”. This phrase just shrieks of Jeremy Kyle. If your child says it, you should break them of the habit by allowing them to soil themselves unless they can produce a grammatically correct request. If anyone over 10 uses it, you’re allowed to punch them.
Toilet can be used to mean having a wash and brush up, but it still isn’t a verb! And I hate to see it used as a mealy-mouthed euphemism for bodily functions. For example, I recently encountered a horrific article on the internet about the difficulties of getting pet cats to “toilet” in an acceptable location. As anyone with a dictionary knows, cats can make their toilet pretty much anywhere; it’s where they shit that’s the problem.
In summary
Wrong:
“Mummy, I need to do a toilet!”
“How to train your cat Where to Toilet”
Correct:
“Mummy, I need to wee/poo!”
“How to Train Your Cat to Shit in a Litter Tray”
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